Aug 24, 2016

The Heart of the Matter....

Hi LucyUncorked readers! 
Long time no blog.  Yeah, LucyUncorked has been on a hiatus.  Kind of a long hiatus.  I've been so busy being employed, unemployed, happy and miserable, that I have been lacking in content.  Having trouble moving thoughts from this noggin to the laptop.  
I guess I would call it more lacking in direction.  I'm not sure where to take my blog.  That's a horrible feeling.  Horrible.  It feels like failure to me.  Writing is the one thing that comforts me and helps me process confusion, and when I can no longer put those thoughts together, it's frustrating and painful.  
What do I want LucyUncorked to be?  An uber-filtered, gorgeous, happy blog like the rest of the million "style/lifestyle" bloggers? Sure, that would be great in that I'd love to be compensated for my blog posts, receive free products, and all of that fun stuff.  But then I would look exactly like everyone else. Do I want that?  I've never been really great at fitting in.  I like to put my money on the risk, not go with the sure thing, basically avoid the status quo.  (which, while awesome, can land you in some pretty lonely spots) 
Has that always turned out positively for me?  No, but I just can't see myself fitting in to a heavily filtered, everything is fine, look at my great life, kind of world.  (ha ha, don't even get me started on how funny my "OOTD" (outfit of the day) blog would be!) 

Do I want LucyUncorked to be a blog all about me, my struggles with clinical depression, my struggles with being single in my mid 40's, and my struggles with my weight and self confidence. Ew, no.  That sounds miserable to me.  Even I don't want to share all of that ugliness.  

What is the right balance?  What do people want to read? Do people even care? I have no idea.  

I'm struggling between providing inspiring and beautiful content, using every filter available to me, only showing you the beauty and love in my life, or being real and authentic.  The ups and downs of this girls (and hopefully other peoples) complicated life.  And there are ups.  Lots and lots of ups.  It just seems right now I'm stuck in a valley. 

Great, so that's settled.  Lucy dislikes artificial people and fake content. Lucy likes real, truthful content.  Warts and all. (I actually don't have warts, I just like that saying)  Except I also like to make people laugh and smile.  And who wants to tune in to a sad blog.  I want to make people happy, make people think, and definitely make people chuckle. But I also want people to know that they are not alone if they are feeling like I am. 

Except then I worry.  I worry about putting it all out there.  I worry about potential employers reading my content. Coworkers. People seeing me differently.  I worry about people judging me. I worry about offending someone.  I listen too much to the naysayers.  I get sad when those closest to me don't read my blog.  I worry about nobody caring.  I worry about not being a good writer.  I worry about not knowing what the hell I'm doing.  I worry about anything and everything there is to worry about. 
When I knew how to enjoy the moment. Boothbay Harbor, ME

There's been a lot of change in my life lately---job stress, pet stress, financial stress, friend and relationship disappointments, my spot in my family, wondering if I've living up to my potential, What am I supposed to be doing?  How did I get here? Is this it? Am I seriously just a recruiter? Is that it? Am I really going to die without having made any significant mark on this world? Yeah, so stuff like that keeps the Ambien next to my bed.  Hopefully other people think about these things as well.  

So I guess I am looking to you guys.  I want to hear your input.  What do you want to read?  What would make you tune in to LucyUncorked? I'd love to get your thoughts and opinions because what you think is important to me.  

Thanks for taking the time to read this and give it some thought.  Conversation and dialogue remains my lifeline and I am grateful to you for providing that.  
Until next time--

1 comment :

  1. Hey everyone's got stuff, and honestly the stuff that odd individuals attempt has everything to do with them, little to do with me, the mental illness bug is strong in my family. I keep on moving into better relationships with the people I value and that value me, and really, walking away from anyone else is the best cure. On that note, a lot of potential on all fronts! Nice summer, this quiet makes me want to do everything to fill the void. Only one thing at a time.